Monday, July 28, 2008

Would you? Will you? Just remember.

Author's note: This post has been knocking around in my head for a while; I've been looking for a job for a while now, and not having much luck. This post is a result of going on interviews and looking for something while covering up the bruises and scars under my work-type clothes and hoping for the best.


If I showed up in your office for a job interview, would it scare you to know that I had bruises under my clothes? Would it scare you that I had gotten set on fire the day before? Cut with a knife? Electrocuted?

Would it repulse you to know that I came into your office with bruises behind my ears from pressure points? That mere hours ago I was slammed up against a wall with a hand on my throat being called a tramp and a whore? That I had been tied up and spit on? That I cried like a little girl while I got fucked? That I had never been more wet?

Would you give me a job knowing that afterwork, after I've filed papers and answered phones and designed art work for your company, I'm going to get on a subway train, and go to a friends house, and do it all over again?

And if you gave me that job, aside from my being qualified and capable, would it also be because of what you know about me, would you do it because you felt sorry for me? Because you envied me on some level? Because it makes you hot? Do you think I will let you call me into your office and allow you to do things to me you're embarrassed to admit to fantasizing about?

Well then, I'd have to tell you that I'm a lady, that I won't let you bend me over your desk while you lift up my skirt and spank me, I won't let you try to intimidate me either, or call me a whore or a little slut. I am very professional, and while my bruises come with me to work, my life style does not.

But what I want to know is that if you give me a job, knowing what you know about me, would you sit at your desk, fantasizing about doing those tantalizing things to do to me? Or maybe you dream about me doing them to you, binding you to your chair and wrapping duct tape about your mouth, pissing on you and call you a whore and baggage, and slapping you across the face? Or maybe, just maybe, you won't judge me, or feel sorry for me, maybe, just maybe, I'll intrigue you. And you'll do a little homework while your sitting at home on your computer in the dead of night, and you'll go to a class at an organization, or you'll go to a party where people do exactly what I do, publically and openly with one another. And maybe you find that you like watching, you like partaking in these gloriously painful acts. But now what?

Will you still judge me? Will you feel sorry for me? Will I turn you on? Or will I frighten or intimidate you? Knowing what you know, would you fire me? Or would you let me keep my job, never venturing outside of your comfort zone, watching me come into work day by day, week by week, until they fade into years? Curious about what causes me to move more slowly some mondays than others?

I don't know what you will do, that's something you have to figure out for yourself. Just remember when you're thinking about how I got those scars on my breasts, those shiny scars that look suspiciously like burns, remember that I still have to pay my rent, and put food on the table and clothes on my back. Remember that I am a good person who is never late to work, and is good at what she does. Remember that my masochism is a part of what I am, and that that fact does not completely define who I am; that I am so much more than just a person who likes to be hurt.

And if it's something that you cannot or will not accept, then please remember that you always have the power to grow, to become a bigger and better person. But also remember that no one can do that but you.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Kinklets trip cancelled

This made me sad. . . .

Due to some unforeseen circumstances, Monet and I have to cancel the trip to Six Flags Hurricane Harbor for this Saturday, July 19. We apologize for any inconvenience. We are planning an alternative trip for this month, and put the information out there as soon as we know what's what. Thanks again, and sorry for the inconvenience.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

TESFest Recap

Aaaah!!!!! This is the part where I scream alot and rip my hair out because I am at home. People are encouraging me to write about TESFest, so here is my little recap before I go wander off and take a walk.


  • I got fucked by a knife for the first time and had a screaming orgasm that lasted for about two minutes.
  • I had a massive take-down scene that involved a banana. I sang an aria from 'La Boheme' during this scene.
  • I topped myself on Sunday with a TENS unit on my thighs. And the TENS unit came home with me on loan. I also had a massive orgasm when the TENS was on my thighs and spent the next four hours having spontaneous involuntary orgasms.
  • I demo bottomed in Boymeat's electricity and it was great fun and the audience was awesome!
  • I got to spend time with my really good friend Liz who I almost never get to see.
  • I had a really bad freak-out Sunday night, and spent the rest of the evening hanging out with Liz. We went to the Little's story hour, and then we went to the TNG swim.
  • I met Liz's leather family, and got choked out and almost went under by one of her family members about five minutes after meeting him. We played later on that night.
  • I got my period!!!!! Not that there's anything particularly sexy about that, I just think it's funny I got my period at a BDSM event.
So that's it for now, I'm sure that there's more I could write about and I will later on. I'm also probably going to Floating World this summer, I'm working on the details, but here's hoping!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

I know where I'm going. . .

I'm back from TES Fest, had a grand ol' time and lots of play and time spent with friends, but I'll write about it later, because this is coming up real soon, and people should come, below is the information:

Hey TNG-ers!!! For our next trip we are planning a trip to Six Flags Hurricane Harbor on on Saturday, July 19th for TNG-ers and their guests! And we would love it if ya'll could join us! Monet and I will be taking the bus from Port Authority Bus Terminal, it leaves from Gate 324 at 9:30 in the morning, and leaves the park at 9:30 at night. The total package for bus fair and admittance to Hurricane Harbor is $50.00, you can buy food for yourself at the park, or bring a meal with you. You are also welcome to drive out if you have a car and meet us there. We will be standing at the gate with our TNG sign. We will be meeting at 9am, and the bus, again, departs at 9:30am. We are looking forward to seeing all a ya'll there, and we hope you can join us!!!!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Vacation

I am leaving tomorrow for the City to spend a night with a friend of mine, and we are driving out the next day to TES Fest together. It's my vacation for the year, so this blog will be (intentionally) quiet over the 4th of July weekend, and for several days afterwards as I collect myself and deal with my event crash. I'll be lying low this weekend under the guise of my real name, but if you figure out who I am, don't be afraid to wander over and say 'hi'. Well I'm off to get dressed and get my yearly pedicure. Have a happy July 4th for those of you who celebrate, otherwise have a grand old time doing whatever y'all are up to this weekend. Ciao!

 
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