Pumpkin

The world was silent.

It was as though the City had gone to sleep, and the only ones awake in the night were Adit and myself. I laid in his bed, which seemed impossibly high up off the ground. My nerves sang in a chorus as tension rippled through my body.

Our conversations and desires had brought us to this night, to the decision to do this with each other. Our leanings towards giving our friendship a twist, but staying friends all the same, something we both felt was important. And then, after a couple weeks of talking and texting, I found myself back in his bed. Still a friend and an equal, somewhere in that time, I had become the little girl to his daddy.

So there I laid in his bed, nervous and scared, the darkness was almost oppressive, like it was keeping it's own council on what it was about to lay witness to. Adit caressed my face and shoulder and breasts, laying himself down next to me and wrapping one arm around me. "Are you going to be a good girl for Daddy?" He asked. "Because I want to play a special game with you, but remember, this is a secret, you can never tell anyone that we're playing this game. Do you understand?" I nodded mutely in the dark as he slipped his hand down into the silky folds between my thighs and began kneading my clit.

The tension mounted in my chest before it began to break up inside of me like waves on a beach. I buried my face against his chest. "Now Pumpkin," he said. "I want you to touch your special place, show Daddy what you like." I tentatively reached my hand down and grazed my fingertips against my clit. "There's a good girl," he said softly in the dark before his hand replaced my own.

He began rubbing his fingers against my clit, making me gasp and moan. "Daddy," I said softly. "It feels funny." "I know it does, it's supposed to, and if you do this enough, it will feel good all over, don't you want that sweety?" He asked. "Yes Daddy," I said softly. His fingers flicked over my clit, drawing me closer and closer to the edge. "Oh, oh Daddy," I breathed softly into his chest. "Yes, come for me, come for your Daddy little girl," he breathed into my hair.

As the tension rose within me, something in me began to give way, and I slipped into Little space. I came, gasping and moaning against his hand, holding him against my sex as my hips bucked against his hand. When I finished, Adit stroked my hair and told me what a good girl I was before climbing up to kneel between my thighs. I watched him roll on a condom in the dark, while he spoke. "Now it's time for Daddy to feel good, don't you want that? For Daddy to feel good?" "Yes Daddy," I said softly. He pressed up inside of me and began thrusting into me. "Now remember, you can never tell anyone that you play these special games with Daddy, do you understand?" He asked in the darkness. A ball of wariness had settled into my stomach. "Yes Daddy," I said softly. "Such a good little girl," he breathed as he began to move faster. After a few moments of silence, he came long and hard.

He pulled out and laid down next to me. "Daddy, do other daddies play these games with their little girls?" I had asked, gazing up at the dark ceiling. "Some daddies play these games with their little girls, but only because they are special, and you must never tell anyone that we play these games because some little girls don't play these games with their daddies, and you don't want them to be sad, do you?" Adit had asked me. "No Daddy, I don't want that," I said softly.

After a few moments, I lifted my head and looked over at him. "Adit, is there something wrong with us for doing this?" I asked seriously. "No Eden, there isn't. I've spent alot of time studying sexuality, and what we did is good and beautiful. We're both consenting adults, neither of us have any interest in doing anything like that with a family member, especially an actual child. That's disgusting. This is role playing, it's different, it's okay to do this because it's not real, do you understand?" I nodded quietly, then realized he couldn't see me. "I'm nodding," I told him.

The next day I kissed Adit, and left for the City where I met up with Terra. I told her what had happened the previous night, and as I did, I began freaking out. "How did you handle this?!" I had asked desperately.

"Oh I spent a good weekend just lying in Conor's bed, I didn't really eat, just laid there. He took it just as hard as I did, he did it for me, not realizing that he would actually like it," she explained. "You're only in part 1 of your freak out though, and you'll feel like this for a good long time. And then it will come easily to you, and that will fuck with you also." "You mean there's more?" I moaned, munching on my chicken. "Yup. Pretty soon you'll be calling him 'daddy' in public without a second thought. 'Candy Land' will never be the same again. And if he's anything like my daddy, he'll make you show where you like to be touched on your teddy bear," she said matter-of-factly. "But I've had my teddy bear since I was a babe-in-arms, I can't do that!" I squealed. "I had mine since I was 4, and I did it," she said. "He's even saying that I'm gonna have to wear white underwear for him at some point, I can't do that," I said indignantly. "Next thing you know I'm gonna be wearing ruffled socks and licking one of those huge lolli-pops. This is too surreal Terra, I can't be doing this. And what makes it worse is that I liked it. I really liked it."

"You've been talking about this for a year and a half, and you finally got what you wanted. You know you're gonna do it again, don't you?" She had asked. "Yeah, I know I'm gonna do it again. And what's really gonna mess with me is that I'm gonna keep on liking it. And then the day will come when I'll be used to it. And that, well, I'll deal with that when the time comes. One step at a time, right?"

I continued to freak out over the next couple days, hiding in my nest and watching horror movies to distract me from dealing with the emotions churning inside of me until I found myself asking myself what was wrong with me. Why did I want this, why did I like it. I pushed my back up against the wall, murmuring 'no no no' over and over again. Feeling scared and alone, I texted Adit who called me several minutes later. I was upset and began yelling at him for being so calm in the face of this. I was angry that he seemed oblivious as to why I was upset. The poor dear deserves better than me sometimes, but most of the time I'm pretty good. He asked me calmly not to yell at him, and to explain to him what was wrong.

"We're role-playing incest!" I had wailed. "Incest is wrong and dirty and disgusting, what is wrong with me?! I shouldn't like this, I can't like this, I'm not a sick person! I'm sane and healthy, I'm not like those disgusting perverts who hang out in play grounds watching children! I have normal healthy desires, what is wrong with me?!" "Nothing is wrong, it's role playing, those are the key words, it's not real. Do you really think that I would be interested in my daughter? Or any child or family member for that matter?" Adit asked, his logical tone cutting into my panic. "No, of course not," I said crossly. "And I don't think you're interested in doing these things with any one in your family either," he said. "No, I'm not," I said quietly. "We aren't sick people, we are sane and healthy consenting adults role playing this. But it doesn't make us worser people for doing it, and if it really bothers you then we can stop, and we never have to do it again. I know you're frightened by this, it's okay to be, but there's nothing wrong with us for doing this, alright?" He asked. "I just feel awful, because I want to do this again, like, I really want to do this again, but I feel like there's something wrong with me. And I'm having a really hard time owning that," I said, my voice sounded strung out to me from all the anxiety. "There's nothing wrong with you Eden, it's okay to want this. You're safe with me, I'm not gonna let you fall, it's okay," he said. He joked with me a little bit, and I laughed, and we got off the phone a few minutes later with his insistences that I call him no matter what if I had any further problems.

I felt a little better after the phone call, but my emotions still sat in the pit of my stomach, and I worried and wondered about what my next step would be. I'm still not sure what that step is, but I do know I'm seeing Adit soon. I'm wearing my overalls and a t-shirt. I'm learning how to own my new found fetish, it's not easy. It's really fucking hard, actually. But in it's own strange way, it works for me.

The Precious

At 4 in the morning, I decided to call it a night. My friend Brian's play party had melted into debates about the existence of instinct from a biological perspective. Which is a really intense conversation to have at 4 in the morning. Marilyn and I climbed into Brian's bed, and curled in on him, wrapping our bodies to his own. Marilyn looked across at me in the dark, and I looked back at her as she began to lick at Brian's nipples, and I followed suit. His moans filled the room as my hand trailed down his chest and pushed aside the waistband on his underwear.

I gripped his cock in my hand and began stroking him, his moans intensifying. I began shedding clothes at some point, my hoodie followed by my shirt until I finally threw off my pants. Brian removed his underwear and my head dissapeared under the covers while he and Marilyn kissed. I licked and sucked at his hard cock while rocking my hand against his perineum. Marilyn joined me a moment later and took over. I came up for air and once again took up my post at his nipples, kissing him intermittently.

We each took our turn in the middle, and when I found myself in the hot seat, Brian and Marilyn went to work on my nipples while Brian fingered my clit, making me gasp and moan. I brought my hands up to grip the headboard as I came.

Marylin took her place in the middle, and Brian got her off while I nibbled on her nipples. Then we pushed Brian onto his back, and Marilyn settled between his thighs while I settled myself over his face. We struggled to sync ourselves up, and when we slid into that sweet spot, I sighed with contentment, Brian moaning and licking beneath me.

"Do we have a condom?" Someone asked. "Shit, I'm out," Brian said in the dark. "I didn't think I'd be getting laid tonight, so I didn't think to get more. Ummm, someone go find one." "I'll go and find one, and by that I mean I'll go look in my bag," Marilyn said, pulling on her skirt and rushing out of the room. Brian and I sat in silence for a few minutes and Marilyn came back in. "I don't have any, should I go ask if someone has one?" She asked. "Yeah, go ask," Brian said, and she left the room again. After a few more minutes she came back in. "I got one, but it's a magnum," she said. "Doesn't matter," I said intensely, aware of the stupidity of my logic as I said it. "It's a condom, we can make it work, we're kinky, we make things work all the time."

"Brian, I don't want to get fucked tonight, you can fuck Eden," Marilyn said. "Then can I go down on you while I'm getting fucked? I haven't had pussy since my birthday, and that was in July." "But I've never done that with a girl, besides, I don't see how it would work," she said. "It's just like with a guy, except I'm a girl. And if you lie on your back in front of me, I can go down on you while Brian fucks me from behind, mmkay?" I said, getting up on all fours. "Oh, okay," she said, settling herself in front of me as Brian rolled on our one precious condom.

I buried my face between her thighs and began licking and sucking while Brian fucked me from behind, slapping my ass and riding my hips. Eventually Marilyn decided she had had enough, and I rolled onto my back while Brian continued fucking me. I gasped and moaned as he fucked me, my muscles contracting around his cock as he thrust up into me. Brian came a few moments later, and collapsed onto the bed next to us.

Eventually we fell asleep in a piled up heap, and slept well into the next morning. It was a lovely party, to say the least.

One year and a song

It was a year ago today that I showed up at Jefferson's house, desperate to wash the bad feel of a bad break up off of my skin. Jefferson not only helped me cleanse myself, but overtime he grew to be a dear friend. I've made other friends through him, and had experiences that I probably wouldn't have had if it weren't for him. I'm grateful for the things that he has given me, the opportunities and favors offered and given, but much more importantly I'm happy to have had his company and friendship over the last year, so thank you, it's been a hoot and a holler, and I'm looking forward to seeing what the future has in store for us.

Now, I am feeling particularly generous right now seeing as I actually managed to give myself my first orgasm this year all by my lonesome!! I actually had more than one; I lost track around 15. And I was listening to Ingrid Michaelson's song "Far Away" (which put me in such a good mood) while I was doing this when I looked down at my body. And I looked up and said out loud to myself "You know on rare occasions I don't like that I'm female. But I wouldn't give it up for anything; I love being a chick. 'Sides twat's are a hoot."

And then I threw my head back and howled with laughter. Yes my friends, life is good.

Simply Marvelous

It's time to take a break from analyzing everything and write some smut! So, without further ado. . .

This was such a satisfying date, I'm trying to think of where to start.

Duh Eden. Start at the beginning. My idiocy astounds me sometimes.

I got to Jefferson's at about 3pm. Showed up at his door in my work clothes; I was fresh from my first day as an intern and was feeling particularly good about it as Jefferson undressed me, and then undressed himself. We wandered back into his bedroom where we fucked, and fucked and fucked. And then he went down on me.

Going down on me is significant because before I met Jefferson, no one ever bothered to do it with the intent of getting me off, with one exception that I generally try to forget about. So he's going down on me, and I'm slowly creeping towards my orgasm, and then he goes and changes tactics on me. And I made this noise, words like 'grunt' and 'moan' don't seem to define the sound that I made. I made a sound that came from our tree dwelling ancestors, and when I came, it was incredible.

Eventually we wandered off to poke around craigslist for something interesting, we spent the next couple hours wondering if anyone would respond to our ad while we poked fun at each other. I introduced him to the Ultimate Orgy of Ultimate Destiny (click on the armadillo), via the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny. He introduced me to the Museum of Creationism, where someone spent like 25 million dollars of their own money and put DINOSAURS in the Garden of Eden where they lived without incident with the other creatures and humans. Jefferson wondered what they did with dinosaurs, I suggested that they were used to plow fields, he thought Ben Hur would have been great if velociraptors had been attached to the chariots instead of horses. Personally I'm still trying to figure out how Eve managed to get tempted by the snake with a t-rex lumbering around.

When it became clear that nothing was going to formulate from our ad, I began to eye Jefferson's coffee table. "Can we fuck on your coffee table?" I had asked. I feel the need to explain to you that I have been wanting to fuck on his coffee table almost as long as I have known him. He said that if I cleaned it off, we could fuck on it. I set to my activity with a fervor, clearing off the surface while Jefferson got the condoms and lube. I laid back on the table and placed my calves on his shoulders, oh I'm forgetting one of the best parts! I went down on him, I'd been wanting to do that for a while now too. Then I tweaked one of his nipples in my teeth before lying back on the coffee table. He slipped inside of me, it felt good to have his cock pound my pussy while I was pushed back into the hard surface of the table. It creaked and groaned in protest to our actions. Then I turned around, got on my knees while he fucked me from behind. This was a good idea for about two minutes before I had to stop, the table just hurt my knees too much. We decided that it was a work in progress.

Eventually we wandered back to his bedroom where we watched a movie, I can't remember the name of it, ask Jefferson, and then we fell asleep.

The next morning we smiled and pulled each other close, kissing and fondling like a couple of teenagers. Jefferson got on top and once again my ankles where put up around his ears while he pressed down into me. And something happened, something amazing! I almost came from straight fucking. I know, I've said it before, but wow, I felt that orgasm and it was close, but then someone moved, maybe it was me, maybe it was him, and it went away. But let me tell you; it was incredible while it lasted.

And then he fucked me in the ass, and it was amazing. Now my ass is a delicate flower, and I have alot of trouble taking it up the ass, but this felt absolutely AMAZING. If Jefferson had been the one to take my ass virginity, I so totally would have volunteered to be the spokes model for the month of ass virgins back in November. It's been days and I'm still thinking about it.

Then we went and got cleaned up and he went down on me and I came again, and it was all kinds of fabulous. In time I packed my things together and headed for the subway, on my way to pick up the Thai food I ordered and catch my bus home to Jersey. All the while floating in the dream space of the newly discovered possibilities that my body decided to offer me.

My List

I keep a list of things that I want to do in my sex and play life that I have never done before:

-Pain orgasm

-G-spot orgasm

-Incest scene - with a consenting someone my age or older who isn't an actual familial relation; but I didn't need to tell you that, did I?

-Double Penetration

-Sex in the back seat of someones car

I have been obsessed with the last one on that list since I graduated high school. No joke. Maybe it's a Jersey Girl thing, but I can't shake the itch. I have the option of nice comfy beds, and I want to haul myself into the back of a car. But I gotta admit, there's just something about the feeling of upholstry on my bare ass and the awkward struggle of getting the condom on and slipping inside of me that's just so high school.

For my birthday Jefferson and I were going to go to the nude beach and then find a parking lot to have sex in. He was going to indulge my fantasy in the back of his car. But we got rained out and had to go back to the City. So I never got to do it.

Back before I took a break from dating, I was seeing this guy. He had a car. I almost fucked him in his car. But he had been trying to get into my pants since the beginning of 'Black Snake Moan' that evening (that reminds me, I also want to be chained to radiator, do a total mindfuck scene, let's add that to the list too) and I was feeling taken advantage of. He insisted on paying for food and stuff, even though he knew I wasn't looking for anything serious, and then expected me to put out.I would have paid for myself had he let me. The whole thing made me very uncomfortable, and I got out of there as fast I could.

So I never got to fuck in a car.

I gave head once in a car in this one spot near my town, but everyone gives head in their car up there. It's like a requirement or something. Come to think of it, I also gave head on an express train to Dover NJ once. Go figure.

But I never fucked anyone in a car. So I sit, grumbling about the cold, because that means that I have to wait even longer to try and pull this off.

One of these days I'll do it. One of these days I'll scratch the itch.

Until then I have all my other delightful indoor activities to work on accomplishing. Some people knit in the winter, I try to get cherries taken.

The hitachi and the hair

Or: The fable Aesop forgot to mention.

I don't like being told to get myself off in front of people. It makes me nervous in the worst way. It makes me nervous because somewhere along the line I stopped being able to get myself off without props. Which is why I bought a hitachi. Periodically I bring it out, plug it in, and go to town. Some people swear by the attachments, but I find them to just frustrate me further. But still, I have alot of trouble getting myself off, it just doesn't always happen for me.

You see a back in January I was out and I mentioned the way that I like to play in a passing conversation, and the person I was talking to gave me this look. And that look stopped me short. I became very self concious, I began showering in the dark, I did not want to have sex with anyone, and I stopped being able to get myself off. It probably didn't help that I no longer wanted to try. It bothered me that I would be percieved in a negative way. After all, who is anyone to tell me how and with whom to play, least of all someone who barely knows me. It angered me, but it also hit a very sensitive nerve. And because of that my sex drive shut down. I became another woman who was unable to have an orgasm, and that had never happened to me before. I hated that it had happened to me. I grew ashamed of my breasts and the flat stomach that I had once been so proud of. My thighs were disgusting to me. So I started dressing conservatively and ignored my body to the best of my ability.

But then valentines day came around, and I detest valentines day, I detest it with an incredible passion. It would be another day that I would be completely alone. I never understood why no one adopted the Greek tradition of a mass orgies for valentines day. I would love to have meaningless sex on valentines day. Lots and lots of it. But, in the absense of a mass orgy, I bought a hitachi.

I had a lovely valentines day, thank you very much.

I'm sure it will come as a surprise to some of you that even that stopped working for me for a while. It too joined the myriad of sex toys collecting dust in my bottom dresser drawer.

But then one night, on the verge of my period and the absense of a date, I decided to have a go at myself. Why not? In the preceding months I had regained my comfort with my body, and began rejoicing in the pleasure that others could give me, even if I could not count myself among their numbers. So I plugged in my hitachi, but no matter how hard I tried, I could only ride the edge, never quite slipping into that sweet release. This frustrated me to no end.

So I tried straddling it. Two pillows later and a great deal of patience, I managed to get myself off. Again and again and again, and I rode it out like a cowgirl on the back of a bull, my breasts bouncing up and down and my hair, my incredible hair that has always made me feel so sexy, bounced heavily on my shoulders, and I felt like walking sex, or rather cumming sex, as it were. I felt gloriously wonderously lush. I love cumming when I'm on top, but usually it's not feasible with another person, not with the way I'm known to cum. But damn. When you feel incredibly sexy while you are loving yourself, there is nothing quite like it.

Moral of the story? Honestly I can't think of a moral for this story.

The Gräfenberg Spot

Or, how Eden discovered her g-spot.

Author's note: I included the diagram because there is much debate in the scientific community about the g-spot and it's existence. But those of us who've gotten a woman off from her g-spot or can have g-spot orgasms know better.

~~~

Since Aimee began raving to me about her g-spot orgasms several years ago, I started to get curious what that would be like. You see, my g-spot, I am convinced, is nomadic. It was long debated among partners of mine whether or not I actually had one. After all, I do not cum from intercourse, and I rarely moan. In short, I did not believe I had a g-spot. As far as I was concerned, it was a club that I was excluded from.

Then, about a year ago, I got very into the idea of finding my g-spot, only I had no idea how to do that. I bought a hitachi, and an extension for it. The extension now collects dust in my dresser drawer, the only thing it succeeded in doing was make me have to pee really really badly. I gave up on it, and went on to have monumental clitoral orgasms. I had found my niche. Or so it seemed.

The first time I met Jefferson, he went to find my g-spot. And I ultimately had to pee. My body simply was not having anything to do with it, it hurt and I found the pressure on my bladder irritating. This developed into a pattern, someone would finger me, and I would ultimately end up in the bathroom trying to ease my tightened muscles enough to relieve myself. Eventually, I gave up on trying to find my g-spot. I had found it in plenty of women, I knew what to look for, I just didn't think I had it in myself.

Then something happened, Jefferson and I were fucking one afternoon, and I had shifted my hips so that they were tilted upwards, and I felt something, something that made me moooaan. I gasped for air, and my face flushed, but after a few thrusts, something shifted, and it vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

Among our sexual explorations of one another, one such afternoon resulted in the discovery that we could get at my g-spot through my ass. Jefferson went down on me while fingering my ass; I roared like a lioness when I came.

We were slowly unfolding the petals of this most elusive of flowers.

A while later, the morning of a sleep over, he slipped his fingers into my folds, and I'll be damned if I didn't gasp, my face flushed and my hair felt electric. It was like my g-spot had grown overnight, like undeveloped real estate that suddenly had immense value. In that moment my snatch was the anatomical equivalent of the Chrysler Building. It didn't last for long, it was too much for me. But damn, it was amazing.

I vented my frustrations to Aimee, who said it was okay, these things take time to wear down, after all, Rome was not built in a day. And the first orgasm of one kind or another is always hard the first time when someone else is doing it. Not that I've had a g-spot orgasm.

Then an amazing thing happened. I discovered that if I curled myself into almost fetal position so that my back was curved forward and my chin was against my chest, and I lifted my pelvis it gave me the best access to my g-spot I had ever had. Jefferson began to fuck me in earnest at my moans. I wanted to open my eyes, to look at him like I like to sometimes, but my eyes were locked shut. My cunt was engulfed in the most incredible fire, I would have let it consume me in an instant. I did not want this to stop. Ever.

My back began to burn, but I didn't care, I wanted this so badly, and I had finally found what I had been looking for. We fucked like this for I don't how long, and then pain shot up my shoulder and I had to stop, to relax my muscles and ease the nerve in my shoulder that gives me grief sometimes.

I laid back against the pillows, gasping for breath and gazing into his blue eyes.

"Did you almost cum?" He asked, gazing down at me as he gently fucked me.

"Yeah, I almost did," I said, a small smile dancing on my lips.

For Reals

I'm just going to start at the beginning, for lack of a better place to start. 

I got to there around 1 in the afternoon, I fixed lunch for Jefferson and Anna, and we settled in to talk, we fooled around for a little bit before the 2PM guest was due to arrive.

Now, here's the thing about Mr. 2PM, he's a virgin, or at least he was when he got to the apartment. He had never seen a woman naked before in reality, never had a blow job, nada. I will call him For Reals. Because he kept saying it, over and over again. It became the joke of the day, even people who weren't there thought it was hysterical.

Anna Smash, the woman visiting Jefferson for a few days, and I were lying naked on his bed. Jefferson had just gone to answer the door. She and I reached for each other and began kissing. We broke our kiss as our 2 o'clock came in the door and stopped in his tracks, staring at us. He kept saying 'Whoa, oh god, for reals?' Over and over, like a mantra. Jefferson invited him to sit down, and told him to do whatever he was comfortable doing. For Reals began undressing, down to his socks.

Jefferson kissed me, putting his hand between my legs, Anna took one of my breasts in her mouth, I was very into the attention I was receiving. At one point Jefferson broke our kiss and kissed Anna, I looked over at For Reals, sitting naked in the chair, watching all of this."Room for one more," I said, smiling docily. He came over, and Anna settled him in between her legs. Jefferson settled between mine. I came loud and hard, roaring with a ferocity I had never known was in me. For Reals sat back, and looked at Jefferson. "You da man," he said to him as I twitched with the aftershocks of my orgasm.

Jefferson switched over to Anna, and I beckoned For Reals over. "Should I strap up now?" He asked eagerly, and I shook my head, telling him to relax. I took him in my mouth, he was large, we later learned that he was afraid that he would be inadequate, only ever having had porn to compare to. I knew that I couldn't take all of him in, but I could give him a decent run never the less. "Oh god, whoa, yeah, oh god," he murmured. I thought it was sweet. He put a hand between my legs, commenting on how wet I was. From anyone else I would have thought it as just a one of those sexual things people say, from him, I knew he said it was out of awe and wonder.

I settled his face in between my legs, guiding him in the difficult rhythms of my body. I didn't come, but that was alright, that wasn't why I was there. I told him I had to use the loo, and told him to get a condom. I slipped out of the room.

Apparently while I was gone Jefferson handed him a 'trojan magnum' condom. "Here, you look like you could fit one of these," he had said. I heard laughter, and I came back in, watching For Reals figuring out how to put on his first condom. I asked him to take off his socks and lie down, and to try and relax. I went to work, settling into a calm supporting state. But a bit into it, something shifted on me, and I felt the after effects of my fisting from the night before. I had to stop, and this is where he climbed on Anna, and Jefferson climbed on me.

Eventually he and I stopped, I settled into the chair with a glass of water while Jefferson took photos and videos of them fucking. For Reals was unsteady at first, unsure of himself. I told him to listen to his body's rythms, that they would guide him. Sure enough, he found it, and they went at it for a good long time. None of us have any idea how many times Anna came.

Throughout all of this, For Reals was sweating like a pig in hog heaven. We had to strip the bed and dry out the mattress before putting fresh sheets on. When we had finished and poor Anna was broken, we laid around and talked. After a while, he left. The three of us showered and vegged out for a while, and then eventually Jefferson laid Anna on top of me, and began fucking her. After a while; we got flogged.

Then we moved into the living room, and eventually Alma showed up. We all talked and goofed off. Then another very gorgeous person showed up, and I will call him Toby. I had eyed Toby at my first orgy at Jefferson's, but we had never connected. Tonight, we connected, we joked together. We made out and fondled eachother. Then we set the trend, and he picked me up and carried me into Jefferson's bedroom. He laid me down on the bed, and we rolled on a condom, and fucked. It was nice, Toby was very good at what he was doing.

Then we took a break, and Alma, intent on learning about women, had a go at my lady parts, and later on I had a go at hers, with an ice cube.

Later on another person who I had eyed at a previous party showed up. It took a while for things to get going between us, and when they did, we had 20 minutes to go before I had to leave. Well, we went, and it was awesome, he fucked me just the way I like to be fucked.

Memorial Day

Her name was Anna. She's a cute brunette, also a sex blogger, in town visiting Jefferson. She and I took a bath together, and I washed her. Then we had sex.

At one point I had several fingers in her, and I was rubbing her clit. Before I knew what was going on, four of my fingers were in past the knuckle, and she didn't seem to be having any problem with it. Jefferson supplied the lube and rubbed it on my hand, then I brought my thumb in and carefully wrapped my fingers down into a fist, worrying about her cervix as my nails scraped her insides. But eventually, I managed to get my entire fist into her.

I had never fisted anyone before, she had never been fisted successfully before. Two cherries popped.

After she came we all jokingly compared hand sizes, and I suggested to her that she have a go at me. This proved harder for me, as fisting always has. I was fine and dandy in the beginning, I laughed and joked. But this did not last for long.

As Anna got more and more of her hand inside of me, my breathing became labored. I stopped breathing a few times, and Jefferson had to remind me to breath, he coached me, encouraging me to inhale and exhale. Periodically he would check and see how much we had in. Finally, when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, we had almost her entire hand up inside of me, down to the part where the hand narrows into the wrist. She slowly pulled out, and we looked at her hand, and I lay there for a long moment, unable to move.

I had trouble walking to the bathroom afterwards, but I managed, and feeling more than a little tender, crawled back onto Jefferson's bed, and he and I fucked for a bit before I had to leave to go home.

Memorial day had never been more memorable.

Lost in thought

In those quiet moments, perhaps when I'm sitting on the bus, or waiting for others to finish a test in one of my classes, my mind begins to wander. I think about hands, grabbing my hair and wrenching my head back. The other hand reaching up to pinch a nipple, already painful in it's erection. And a voice, rasping in my ear, ordering me to strip. Slowly I undress, unsteady on my feet, and the minute I step out of my pants, and my breasts are hanging free against my chest, this strange, unknown dark-haired man whose haunted my fantasies since I was 15 is pressing down against me. Slamming his hands into my chest and then his hands trail down and grab my breasts, pulling me to the floor.

He kisses me deeply. I no longer try see his face, it never does any good. His hand trails down to my pussy, rubbing against my clit before moving on to pull at my labia and press his fingers savagely inside of me. And then he throws me onto my hands and knees and presses down into me with his cock, furiously thrusting as he pulls my head back and begins whispering in my ear. My skin flushes, as he makes me call out obscene things. My cervix tightens desperately against him as he does this, and I hate him for making me be anything less than dignified.

And then I'll start and break out of my fantasy, and I'll be aware that I have to get off the bus in two stops, or that my teacher has resumed the class, and I'll hurry home or to the bathroom to seek my own release.

---I'll post something real soon, I promise.

Asses etc.

Simon, my then boyfriend, had wanted to do me in the ass for long time. It was an act that I had resisted for a long time after a bad experience some time previous. It was, and remains, one of the few sexual acts that I have conflict with.

Simon did his best to comfort me, and eventually I consented to the act, but on one condition: What he got to do to me, I got to do to him. And that I got to go first.

We planned for this to happen one weekend in August, when he and I, and a bunch of other people we knew were driving down to Washington DC for the weekend for a TNG (a leather group for younger people in the scene) event at a leather club down there, hosted by their own TNG group.

We drove down in a car with two other people, among them my friend Cora, along the way she and I flashed truck drivers, pressing our breasts up against the cool glass and getting them to blow their horns.

The hours leading up to our plan were fairly tame, Cora and I did a fight scene which didn't really go anywhere, and eventually Simon and I found our way back to another. "I want to fist you," he said bluntly. I nodded consent and followed him passively upstairs to a quiet corner where I laid back in a sling, and put my feet up on the chains.

He slowly began pressing fingers into me, gently but firmly rocking his hand against my cunt. He got four fingers in, and when he went to press his thumb into my cervix, I gasped in pain and screwed my eyes shut. He pulled back, and took his time. His thumb found it's way to my clit, and he began rubbing his fingers against me. I jolted with the pleasure and pressed myself down against him.

"I'm going to come," I gasped, and then I threw my head back, and I screamed, loud and long. I could hear my voice echoing throughout the warehouse as I pressed and arched and rode out the waves until I laid in the sling, stupid with pleasure.

Simon withdrew his hand and rolled on a condom, and pressed down into me, seeking his own pleasure which came a few minutes later. He pulled out and pulled off the condom and came on my belly. After a while we cleaned up and sheepishly walked towards the stairs. When we entered the main room, Cora, in her infinite energy burst into applause and I smiled ruefully. 

We ate dinner and it became closer to Simon's moment. Another friend of ours loaned us her strap-on (similar to the one I would buy later on, after Simon and I parted ways), and she settled me into the harness, and Simon and I found a comfortable spot. I rolled a latex glove onto my right hand, since I didn't want to hurt him with my fingernails.

I began rocking into his ass the same way he had tried to work his way into my pussy several hours earlier, finally when he was ready, I pressed down into his ass and began rocking back and forth. I gasped, my thighs warmed and heat flooded my face. It was amaaaazing! I had never felt anything like it, and I pressed down into his ass, as intent on my own pleasure as I was on his. I can only imagine how much better it is with a bio-cock. I did not want this to stop, and I moaned as I sawed into him. I was vaguely aware of people murmuring about this, and I would later be approached to be told how hot it was to watch what we were doing. I was lost in the sensations, the both of us moaning. Simon's head hung down against his chest, and my head was thrown back, lips parted and eyes closed.

After a long while, Simon called it quits, and I pulled out of his ass. Neither of us came, but doing this had left me feeling fortified; I no longer had to be on the receiving end when it came to cock. Now I had choices.

Starting fresh

How do I begin this? I've never done anything like this before, write about my sex life? Never had I dreamed of doing anything like this in such a public forum. But here I am. Doing things I never dreamed of.

After getting out of a difficult relationship, I decided to take time off from dating. I knew that I didn't want a relationship, but I didn't want to be celibate either. So one night I plucked up the courage to write the author of a blog that I had been reading for several months. This is what I wrote:

I’m sure you get this a lot, and I suppose this is kinda coming out of left field, but you only live once, right? I came across your blog a couple of months ago, and I noticed a trend: You have hot sex. And I would like to have hot sex, for once. I’m in the city on an almost daily basis, so if you are interested, drop me a line.

Take care,

Eden

Jefferson and I exchanged e-mails over the course of a week, he requested photos and asked about fantasies I had, and I responded in kind.

The day came for me to go and meet him. I took care in dressing myself, not sure what one wore to something like this. When I got to his building, I rode the elevator up to his floor, and after a few moments, found his apartment. I stood there, terrified, my hand literally frozen in the air. I almost turned around and walked away. But I didn't, I gathered what little courage I could muster, and knocked on the door. I heard sounds behind the door, and after a moment, the deadbolt slid back and the door was opened to reveal a blonde man a few inches taller than myself. I was drawn inside, he took my bag and sweatshirt, and drew me into a kiss. He slowly undressed me, drawing off my shirt and bra, pulling off my pants and panties until I stood there nude.

He continued kissing me, running his hands over my breasts, and down my belly, slipping between my thighs. I hadn't realized how much I wanted this until I felt my own heat and moisture against his fingers; I was soaking wet. Completely and utterly drenched.

"Get on your knees," he said. "I want you to suck my dick."

I sank to my knees, and settled myself on the cool wood floor. He pulled it out of his pants, and I gazed at him for a moment. "Are you clean?" I asked tentatively. "Yes, I am," he said. And I set to work.

I was nervous, but I am also a Jersey girl, and we have a tradition to uphold. I took as much of him in my mouth as I could, and lapped at him with the tip and flat of my tongue, moving my head back and forth. After a while, he pulled me off of him and took my hair in his hand. I dropped to my hands and knees and let him lead me back through his apartment to his bedroom. I got the impression of a brightly colored rug before I was brought to kneel in front of a chair. I heard him undress behind me, and then saw him settle nude into the chair in front of me. I resumed my ministrations. I was lost in the silence of his apartment, I had no sense of time or the world around me.

After a while, he told me to get up on his bed, and I obeyed, laying back among the pillows. "I never cum from this," I told him. "Doesn't matter, I just want your taste," he replied. He settled between my thighs, tonguing my clit. I forced myself to relax as I began to chase my orgasm. I shuddered as I came, rolling my hips as ectasy swept over me.

"No one's ever done that before," I said, suddenly feeling less nervous.

"Well I'm pleased to join such select company," he said, coming up to kneel in front of me. He took a condom out of a drawer, and rolled it on, and pressed himself down inside of me.

"You have a remarkably tight pussy Eden," he said.

"So I've been told," I replied quietly. We fucked for a long time, we were both quiet. Then he leaned back and slapped me, shocked by the blow, I tried to pull away. After a moment, he slapped me again, and I repeated my actions. "Eden, stop that!" He ordered. "You could hurt yourself." Then he slapped me again, and I stayed still, though my nostrils flared.

"You're a bit of a brat, aren't you?" He asked me.

"So I've been told," I replied through clenched teeth.

"Shhh, no more slaps, we'll just fuck for now," he said softly, kissing me.

We continued to fuck until he came. I smiled into his shoulder; I am always pleased when the people I bed cum.

Afterwards, we laid there, talking for a bit, and began fucking again after a little while. He caned me for a bit, and then sent me off to shower.

I left his apartment that afternoon with marks on my backside and an invitation to return soon. It was awesome, and marked the beginning of a very new and interesting path for me.

Since meeting Jefferson, I've met a number of wonderful and interesting people, some of whom I've slept with, some of whom I've played with, and some of whom I've only spoken with. But all-in-all, it's been awesome.

This journal chronicles my new path for myself, wherever it may take me.